Feeling at Home After Moving Abroad

It takes more time than you would think, but if you're in the right place, you will eventually feel at home after moving abroad.

It’s been nearly three years since I packed a suitcase full of my belongings and boarded a plane to Italy. But it was only yesterday afternoon, as I was walking through my peaceful neighborhood on the outskirts of Milan, heading to the grocery store to grab some popcorn for movie night, that I realized something. I feel really at home.

I felt so at peace with my surroundings during that walk, it was as if I was just walking through my own living room. After years of having embraced the chaos and excitement that comes with moving abroad, I had almost forgotten what it felt like to not be constantly struggling to adapt.

So as this feeling of comfort and belonging rushed over me last night, I couldn’t help but feel like I was a fish. A fish that had been finally tossed back into the water after flapping around breathlessly on land for a solid 2.5 years.

Living abroad isn’t easy

It’s exciting, complex, deeply fulfilling, and life-changing, but moving abroad is not easy.

Aside from boatloads of paperwork and endless bureaucracy to be dealt with, moving abroad comes with many challenges. Challenges like forming new friendships and relationships from scratch or struggling to get past the uncomfy feeling that you don’t really belong in your new country (or anywhere for that matter).

And it’s this feeling of not belonging that takes the longest to get used to. When you’re in the process of overcoming challenges, it can be difficult to allow yourself to be fully present in the moment. But that’s what it’s like after moving abroad. You have to be constantly thinking about your future.

Finding a job, making sure you’re documents are up to date, staying on top of your taxes, planning video calls with friends, planning trips back home, dreaming of the day you’ll be 100% fluent in your new language, and a million other things that can lock your mind out of the present tense.

In my opinion, practicing mindfulness has helped me with my journey of finding my sense of home. Stopping and taking a moment to ground myself and realize where I am. Remembering all I’ve accomplished, gives me the confidence to face new challenges each day. It’s not always an easy thing to do but it can really help you get adjusted to your surrounding.

A bit of advice for those living abroad and feeling lost

If you’re struggling with feeling lost or out of place after having left your home country, I want you to know that it gets better. With enough time and patience, that feeling of being an outsider will slowly dissipate.

Maybe you’ll eventually find a great group of friends that welcomes you with warm arms into their circle. Or maybe, like me, you will just come to accept the fact that who you are and where you come from, doesn’t define where you belong, and stop longing for acceptance.

I do have a great little group of friends here in Italy, but it took me a long time to get here. And that’s normal. Comfortably living abroad requires patience, and that patience takes a while to acquire. So you have to have patience with the process of learning patience. That makes sense right?

Where you belong is ultimately wherever you are happy and feel yourself to be thriving. Give yourself some time and focus on all the great qualities you have as a human being.

Don’t focus too much on the things you have yet to learn. Truly feeling at home starts with feeling at home in your own skin, and from there, you will eventually feel as though you are right where you need to be.